Doing the dirty work
by Pure Lust
Summary: Ed and Al are assigned on a mission, to go to the grocery store. If they refuse, Edward is fired.To tell you the truth, it's always a hassle to go to the grocery store.
1. Chapter 1: Prolouge

Mustang sat in his office yelling and screaming on the phone with Fuhrer.

"I want you to change the policy!" Mustang screamed over the phone knocking pens and pencils off his desk.

"No! Mustang!" Fuhrer yelled over the phone. "Women must wear pants! Not Miniskirts! Pants!"

"But…." Mustang whimpered.

"Women can't go outside and help innocent people…….in Miniskirts!" Fuhrer yelled. "Now, goodbye Mustang!

"No!" Mustang screamed in his office.

"What the hell is going on in here, sir?" Hawkeye said opening the door a little. Roy sat down in his chair a little bit sad.

"The pant policy for women has to change!" Roy yelled.

Riza was just about to go off. "Roy! Women are NOT objects that you can just look at! They are equal human beings….."

Hawkeye was going on and on as Roy thought to himself. How am I going to change Fuhrer's mind? He thought. I have to do something really nice, but what? Wait!

"I got it!" Roy yelled jumping on the desk.

"You do?' Riza asked. "So, you're not going to treat women like objects?"

"I'll bake him a cake!" Mustang yelled.

"What? Why?" Riza asked confused. "Wait! Were you even listening to me?"

"Oh, but I'll need eggs, milk, and a bunch of other stuff".

"Forget it!" Riza yelled. "There is no sense talking to you!"

"Wait Hawkeye!" Mustang yelled.

"What Mustang?" Riza asked annoyed.

"Call…..the Elric brothers". Mustang said fiercely.

"Why?" Hawkeye asked.

"Don't question me! Just do it". Mustang yelled.

"Yes, sir". Riza said as she exited the room.

"This is the greatest idea I've ever had! This will certainly change Fuhrer's mind!" A couple minutes passed as Mustang waited in his office. He tapped and chewed on a slim pencil. Suddenly, a small figure came walking in the room with a man in a suit of armor.

"Ed, just the man I wanted to see!" Mustang said happily. "Come on in!"

Ed and Al sat down on the chairs sitting in his office. "What now, Mustang?" Ed asked dully.

"I have an assignment for you two boys. It's a dangerous task, but of you succeed……you'll be a hero!" Mustang said in a serious tone.

"Hero?" Al said confused.

"What do you want us to do?" Edward looked up at Mustang who had a smirk on his face.

Mustang sighed and then continued in a low voice. "I need you to……" He paused then continued. "Go to the market".

The Elric brothers were in temptation until they heard his last sentence. They both gasped and looked at each other.

Ed began to laugh and slap his knee in amusement. "Great joke Mustang! Now, really, what is it?"

"I know you're scared Ed, but you must be strong!" He said placing his hand on Ed's prosthetic shoulder.

Ed pulled away from his grasped and yelled. "What are you talking about! I'm not scared to go to the store! Our job isn't to do your errands for you!"

"Ed!" Mustang yelled. "If you don't do this you're fired!"

"What! You can't do that!" Ed yelled.

"Oh, but I can!" Mustang said. "Here's the list and the money, now go!"

"Whatever". Ed mumbled under his voice.


	2. Chapter 2: The beginning

Ed and Al walked down the street in search for the market. They walked until they made it to a big sign that said. 'FLEA MARKET'

"Great! Let's get this over with!" Ed sighed in a weak tone.

The boys looked from side to side as they walked down the road of shops. Suddenly, shopkeepers were screaming come get some of this and extra of that for sale.

"Look Brother! Eggs!" Al screamed.

"Come on!" Ed screamed. They ran to the stand with the sign that said 'FRESH EGGS'. They ran through the crowd pushing and shoving. When they got there they saw only one carton of eggs left.

They looked up at the shop just about to ask for the eggs until the shopkeeper spoke. "Sorry, fresh out".

"What!" Ed yelled. "Then what's that!" Ed yelled pointing at the carton of eggs.

"These eggs are reserved". The shopkeeper said calmly.

"Who the hell reserves eggs!" Ed screamed.

"I have coffee, but that only stunts your growth". The shop keepers said laughing at his little height joke.

Ed glared at the man and was about to strike him, but Al held him back. Ed wiggled to break loose of his brother's grasp.

"Listen sir, we really need those eggs. Our jobs are at steak"! Al said sadly.

"Why is your job at steak for eggs!" The man asked confused.

"Well, uh, yeah…" Al said confused.

"Let me at him! I'll tear off his feet and stick'em on his head!" Ed yelled wailing away at air.

"Brother, calm down". Al put his brother down who had seemed to cool off.

The old shopkeeper looked at the boys then noticed the watch in Ed's pocket. "Ah, you're a state alchemist, eh? How about this…we'll have a fight". The shopkeeper had an unknown look on his face.

Ed laughed. "Please, sir with all do respect…I'm Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist and not to brag or anything, but I could beat your ass no doubt!"

"If you win…I'll give you the eggs free of charge!" The man said happily.


	3. Chapter 3: The Flea Market

"Forget it! I don't need to fight you! Come on Al, we'll find some other shop with eggs".

"Sorry kid! We're the only shop with eggs left! What do you expect! Eggs are bought like that here in central!" The man laughed and pulled his hand out from over the counter. In the palm of his hand was a tattoo of a transmutation circle. "I'm an alchemist too…so this will be a fair fight, don't you think?"

Ed sighed. "If you say so old man, but I hope you know what you're getting into".

The fight began and sparks and flashes of light flew everywhere. People screamed and ran for there lives and others gathered in a circle.

Ed whipped up a staff and was just about to hit him then suddenly, the shopkeeper dashed out of the way and smack Ed over the head with his own hand which made him fall to the ground.

"Damn! That was a cheap shot!" Ed stood up and charged at him with his staff. The shopkeeper blocked it and took the staff from Ed's hands and broke it in two. Ed glared at the man then transmuted his automail to the sword.

The shopkeeper was just about to finish the job until Ed used his left arm to make a fist then, punched him right in the jaw. The man fell backwards and lied there motionless, but after a few minutes he got up with a snicker.

"Ok". The man walked to the carton of eggs and gave it to Ed. "Here you go. You won them fair and square".

Ed grabbed the eggs with no expression on his face then looked up at the shopkeeper. "You know you could've just avoided this, but now you're going to have a swollen jaw for some time". Ed and Al turned around and walked deeper into the flea market.

"Well, that was a stupid waste of time". Ed said annoyed as he and Al walked deeper into the flea market.

"We got the egg, that's what's important, right?" Al said logically.

"Whatever, what's next?" Ed opened the list to see and made a disgusted face. "Milk…" Ed made a gagging noise. "Ok, let's hurry".

Ed and Al walked for 10 minutes not seeing one place with milk. Ed began to get frustrated and screamed. "Were the hell is the milk!" Al stared at him embarrassed as everyone looked at the short teen with the snippy attitude.

"Ed, people are staring…calm down". Al whispered holding the eggs. "Let's keep looking".

"Al! I don't see any…" Ed looked up and smiled. "Milk!" Ed ran towards the sign which said 'MILK'

Ed and Al rushed to the little shop with the sign. Ed got there first and ran to a jug of milk, but right when he grabbed the milk…an old woman grabbed it at the same time.

"Sorry lady, but I was here first". Ed said gently.

"Oh please" The frail voice said. "I am an old woman and my granddaughter's birthday is today and I have to bake a cake for her". The woman looked up at Ed with a sincere look on his face.

"Ed, come on…she's old and she probably worked hard just getting here, please brother". Al spoke with such calming words that Ed let go of the milk reluctantly.

The old lady smiled, paid the cashier, and walked off.

"Great Al! Once again your Saint for a soul screwed us again!" Ed walked off pissed and fast.


End file.
